What does it actually take to conceive, and when should a couple seek help?
On Saturday, March 28, 2026, Dr Ujuka Iloabuchi, Class of 2002, addressed this question during DIAA’s monthly Knowledge Sharing Series.
Her presentation, “Fertility Myths and Facts: Understanding Male and Female Factors”, explained the biology behind conception and challenged familiar assumptions about infertility.
Here are five lessons from the presentation.
1. Fertility Investigations Should Involve Both Partners
Pregnancy depends on several things working together. An egg must be released, healthy sperm must reach it, and the resulting embryo must be able to implant and develop in the womb.
Dr Iloabuchi explained that difficulties can arise in either partner, in both partners, or remain unexplained after investigation.
For women, possible causes include problems with ovulation, blocked fallopian tubes and conditions affecting the womb. For men, sperm count, movement and shape all matter.
This is why repeatedly investigating the woman while leaving her partner unassessed can delay useful answers. Both partners should be willing to seek care.
The purpose is to understand what is happening and decide what to do together. Blame does nothing to improve the chances of conception.
2. Know Your Own Cycle Rather Than Relying on an Assumed Calendar
Frequent intercourse does not guarantee pregnancy. Timing matters too.
Dr Iloabuchi explained that the first day of full menstrual flow counts as day one of the cycle. However, women do not all have the same cycle length, and ovulation does not always happen on day 14.
She described a patient with polycystic ovary syndrome whose cycles were longer than the familiar 28-day pattern. The couple had been timing intercourse around an assumed schedule that did not match when she was ovulating.
After reviewing her menstrual calendar and investigating further, Dr Iloabuchi advised a change in timing. She reported that the couple subsequently conceived.
The lesson is to pay attention to your own pattern. Menstrual tracking provides useful information for a consultation, especially when cycles are irregular or unusually long.
A calendar can help identify questions. A clinician can help interpret the answers.
3. Sexual Difficulties Need Honest Conversations and Appropriate Care
Some obstacles to conception are difficult to discuss even between partners.
Dr Iloabuchi spoke about reduced sexual desire, erectile difficulties and problems with ejaculation. Embarrassment, cultural expectations or treating sex as a forbidden subject can make these issues harder to acknowledge.
She described situations in her practice where a woman had undergone investigations but struggled to persuade her partner to seek assessment.
Silence leaves both people without the information they need.
Sexual difficulties can have physical, hormonal, emotional or relationship dimensions. Existing conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure may also be relevant to sexual health.
An honest conversation can begin the process, followed by confidential medical advice where needed.
Dr Iloabuchi also encouraged couples to preserve affection and connection while trying to conceive. When every intimate moment becomes a test of whether pregnancy will happen, the relationship itself can come under pressure.
4. Seek Help at the Right Time, Even If You Have Conceived Before
Waiting indefinitely can reduce the time available to investigate a problem and consider treatment.
Dr Iloabuchi explained that the timing of assessment depends particularly on the woman’s age. For couples having regular unprotected intercourse, evaluation is generally recommended after 12 months without pregnancy when the woman is under 35, and after six months when she is 35 or older.
At 40 or older, she advised starting the conversation promptly. Known reproductive problems or irregular cycles can also justify seeking advice sooner.
She highlighted another important point: a previous pregnancy does not guarantee future fertility. A couple who conceived easily before can experience difficulty later.
A primary care doctor or gynaecologist can help begin the assessment. Depending on the findings, a urologist or a specialist in reproductive medicine may be needed.
Seeking help provides information and options. It does not mean that every couple will require in vitro fertilization (IVF).
5. Build Healthy Habits and Question Promises of Guaranteed Pregnancy
Dr Iloabuchi challenged claims that particular sexual positions, rubbing a pregnant woman’s belly or eating animal genitalia can improve the chances of conception.
She also questioned products and supplements promoted as guarantees of pregnancy.
Her emphasis was on caring for the body: eating well, exercising, avoiding tobacco, addressing excessive alcohol use and managing existing health conditions.
These habits support health, but they cannot guarantee pregnancy or replace an investigation when one is needed.
She recommended preparing for pregnancy, including taking an appropriate prenatal supplement containing folic acid. Folic acid helps reduce the risk of certain birth defects; it should not be mistaken for an infertility cure.
She also acknowledged how isolating fertility difficulties can become. Exercise, walks, reconnecting as a couple and other ways of managing stress may support wellbeing during a demanding period.
Couples need reliable information, appropriate care and room to support each other without additional pressure.
Memorable Quote from the Presentation
“You address it together as a couple and do what needs to be done.”